The Closet of Many Sizes


The Jewish holidays are upon us once again. How to make them meaningful? Who to invite over?  What will my menu be? And the most difficult question…what will I wear? Not in the fashion sense-who’s looking at me way. But in the what- will-fit or what-size-am-I-this-year way?

Thank goodness for the closet of many sizes.

My weight, like many people, fluctuates. Some may view me as chubby, others might see me as thin-ish. What really matters is how I see myself. I can accept growing older and my changing body. I can try to hide the lumps and bumps that come with my life experiences. Four c-sections and nursing babies came with a price to my body. But I don’t need to give in to food and give up on keeping my weight at a place that’s comfortable for me.

Sure it’s difficult.  I love food. The challenge is finding the balance of enjoying food but not letting it get the better of me. How can I drop that extra 10 pounds? Here it is – the secret to losing weight…eat less and get off your tush. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not so much.

The dieting world is a multi-billion dollar industry for a reason – people want to look good and be healthy.  My favorite weight loss program was Weight Watchers, which helped me get a handle on my weight a few years ago. But then I got lax and whoop, there it is – the weight creeps back up. We all have heard the reasons why people overeat – because we’re happy or sad or lonely or bored. We eat because we’re hungry or because food’s delicious – whatevs. No matter the reasons, we’re alive therefore we eat.

I learned about healthy eating from my mother. She was so darn healthy, it was annoying at times.  She was very aware of what she ate but not in an eating-disorder kind of way. She always kept her weight in check, generally looking better than I did. She truly could have a bite of something delicious, or just one cookie – that is not in my genetic code.  I admired her healthy eating and emulated her as much as I could, but unfortunately I am more of a textbook glutton.

I hate my closet of many sizes, yet love it all the same. The jeans from when I was my skinniest hide in the corner, mocking me and daring me to ever fit into them again. Then there are my “fat jeans,” my reliable, comfortable old friends – I hate fitting into them but am grateful they are there to welcome the larger me . I can’t bear to shop for a bigger size.

I will mentally set my brain to “lock-down,” and try to control my excess eating and exercise more. My food strategy can be compared to the mullet – business during the week and a party on the weekend. It takes some will-power and determination. And a touch of vanity. I make no grand proclamations and take it a day at a time.

Starting tomorrow of course, after a last supper of Peppermint Patties and Chardonnay.